Fire and Magic (The Jadori Book 1)
- Sneak Peek -
Chapter 1 - Not Now
I was getting out of here today. I needed to believe that.
My plan had to work; I’d been careful. I’d been on my best behaviour.
Right now, I needed to keep busy so I wouldn’t keep stressing about what the doctor would say or do or think.
Looking around the large rec room, I thought about watching TV for a while, but I wouldn’t be able to sit still.
My nerves were jangling, but I managed to set the balls up on the pool table in the corner.
Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply and let it out slowly. Concentrated on projecting calm. A scene at the beach played through my mind. A place Mum took me to when I was twelve.
I opened my eyes and hit the cue ball, watching the balls scatter. Seeing the randomness of the first shot always fascinated me.
Jim was watching TV with a silly grin on his face on the other side of the rec room.
Maria was looking out the windows at some pigeons on the lawn. She loved the birds. Said they didn’t talk back.
Melanie was sitting quietly in a corner lounge, staring at the TV. She was always quiet, but I couldn’t blame her with the trauma she’d suffered. The staff said she’d be alright, in time.
Mrs Dawson was staring at her knitting. I wasn’t sure whether she was off with the fairies or if she was deciding what to make next. Her fourteen-year-old granddaughter, Nellie, sat on the floor at her feet, just happy to be spending time with her.
Her true dedication made me smile.
Quiet music played through the speakers in the ceiling and fake plants sat either side of the four-foot fish tank, giving everything a false sense of normalcy.
But this was anything but normal and I didn’t belong here. The urge to escape got stronger each day.
Mr Jones gave me two thumbs up. Mrs Carpenter gave me words of encouragement. I allowed myself a small smile and totally ignored them both.
They walked out into the garden together, smiling and waving. I didn’t look at them directly and didn’t respond, but inside, my heart swelled. They understood how important the next hour was to me.
Turning my attention back to the table, I tried to decide which ball I would go for. It was hard to concentrate, but I managed to make it look like I was just taking my time to pick the perfect shot.
The smell of beef and onion wafted to me from the kitchen and made me wish it was dinner time already.
Jim laughed at something on the TV, making me jump.
A voice in my mind whispered that my plan wouldn’t work, that I’d never get out of here.
I shook my head.
Focus.
The butterflies in my stomach were having a party. The clock on the wall told me it was almost two o’clock.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Mrs Dawson started to moan and I cringed. Her knitting was on the floor and she rocked back and forth. “Nellie? Where’s my Nellie?”
No. Not again. Not now.
I didn’t want to have to deal with this; I had other things to concentrate on. I needed to keep my head clear.
She started to cry. “Nellie?”
I laid the pool cue across the table carefully and retrieved her knitting from the floor. “It’s okay, Mrs Dawson. Nellie isn’t here today,” I told her. I tried not to look at Nellie while I said it.
“I want my Nellie. She said she’d be coming to see me. Where’s her mother? I’ll give that woman a piece of my mind. How could she not bring Nellie in to see me?”
I wished I could explain, but that would just make things worse. “It’s okay. She’ll bring her soon.”
“No. She won’t. She never does.”
“Here’s your knitting.” I put her half-made scarf into her hands and put a hand on her arm. Nellie put her hand next to mine and Mrs Dawson seemed to calm down. It was as if she could sense her there.
“It’s alright now,” I whispered. “Nellie loves you. She wishes you well.” I looked sideways at Nellie. “Nellie wants you to be happy. She doesn’t want you to be upset.”
Mrs Dawson looked up at me. “Okay.”
Nellie sniffed, tears streaming down her face. “Thank you.”
I smiled.
“Nearly time.”
I flinched at the sound of Nurse Janice’s voice and resisted the urge to say something snarky. I had to be nice. Even to her.
I stood and attempted a casual smile. “Yep.”
She was the last person I wanted to see right now.
She looked down at Mrs Dawson. “She having another tantrum?”
I scowled. “No. She does not have tantrums. She’s just pining for Nellie.”
The smirk on her face grew. “Like I said. Tantrum.”
I pressed my hands to my thighs to keep them from clenching into fists. How could she be so cruel?
She raised an eyebrow. “It won’t work,” she said, and I was thrown by the sudden change in subject. “You won’t be able to fool him, you know. You’re not fooling me. You’ve just been telling us what you think we want to hear and I don’t believe you for a second.”
And with that, she turned on her heel and left.
My heart pounded out a steady drumbeat. I had to remind myself that she wouldn’t have seen anything suspicious as I didn’t actually say anything directly to Nellie.
But what if she was right about Dr Calthorpe? What if none of them were fooled? What if I’d been caught talking to imaginary people out in the garden? What if—?
Calm down. She’s only trying to rile you. You got this.
I took some more deep breaths.
This had to work. I had to get out of here. I had a life to get back to. Admittedly, I no longer had a job, but I could get another one.
I missed Mum. I missed Alina.
Mrs Dawson had gone back to her knitting and I sighed heavily.
I looked at the clock on the wall again. Almost time. The hands were moving so slowly that I wanted to break the glass on the front and make them move faster. I just wanted this over with.
I wanted to go home.
Things would be difficult at first because Mum had supported their decision to put me in here. I hadn’t quite forgiven her for that, but that awkwardness would still be better than being stuck in here.
Anything was better than being stuck in here.
I didn’t belong.
If I really was delusional, this would be the perfect place for me. The therapy sessions I’d had with Dr Calthorpe were designed to help me deal with seeing things that weren’t there as well as dealing with the trauma of being hit by a car and the injuries and scars left behind — and they had really helped me with those things — but these people I could see were real.
I didn’t need any medical help; it was an ability I had and no amount of therapy or antipsychotic drugs would make it go away. I should know. They’d tried it all.
Another look at the clock told me it was time. One of the nurses should be calling my name any second.
Sweat beaded on my forehead. I tried to slow my breathing.
This was it.
This was my chance. I had what I was going to say planned out in my head.
The tingling sensation I always felt whenever a spirit was near ramped up a few notches, which meant that Nellie wasn’t the only one here. Someone started yelling somewhere out in the hall. My stomach clenched and I spun around to see what was going on. It was a male voice I didn’t recognise. I frowned.
His frantic voice grew louder. He was calling out to people and asking if they could see him or hear him and my heart sank.
No…
He was a newbie.
I closed my eyes and sucked in a huge breath. No, no, no, no, no. Not now…
I hated it when the newly-departed were panicking because they didn’t know they were dead. They ran around trying to get people’s attention and it was almost impossible to ignore them. I felt for them, but at the same time, if I talked to them, I got myself into trouble.
And talking to this guy would get me into a buttload of trouble right now. I had gone to great lengths to prove I wasn’t delusional.
I had to ignore him.
Somehow.
I walked back to the pool table and tried to act natural. Picked up my cue stick. Which ball could I go for? There was a clear shot into a corner pocket at the other end of the table, so I moved around there, conveniently putting my back to the rec room door. That way I wouldn’t be tempted to look at him as he entered.
As I leaned over the table, I could feel his presence as goosebumps broke out on my skin and the tingling sensation increased.
I took a deep breath and lined up my shot, gritting my teeth against the urge to look. I needed to see him. I couldn’t help myself. Curiosity was eating at me, resonating through every fibre of my being.
Every second that passed was torture. I was dying to look. I had to see.
He called to Mrs Dawson, who kept on knitting. I could see them in my peripheral vision and kept my eyes on the gardens outside.
Nellie didn’t respond to him either. Maybe she didn’t want to be the one to break the news to him.
He moved on to Jim and I tensed up some more. He was getting closer. I closed my eyes. I had to be strong.
I opened them again and focused. Lined up the shot. Hit the ball. Watched it roll across the table and slowly make its way to the pocket. It was going to hit the cushion and—
“Maddelyn?”
I spun around at the sound of Nurse Holly’s sweet voice and came face-to-face with a dark-haired guy around my age with intense brown eyes and I sucked in a breath.
He was staring straight at me, and he was gorgeous.
And young. Too young to die.
My heart squeezed in my chest and tears stung my eyes, but I quickly looked away, focusing on Holly’s face. “Yes?”
“Hey!” he called. “You looked at me! You can see me!”
Chapter 2 - Don't Look. Don't Answer
Holly’s smile grew wider. “Doctor Calthorpe will see you now.”
I tried to smile back and kept my eyes locked on her face. “Thanks.”
I stepped to the side and hoped it didn’t look like I was stepping around an imaginary person as I headed to the doctor’s office.
“Hey! I know you saw me. Where are you going? Don’t ignore me! I need your help. No one else can see me.”
I cringed, but kept walking.
Not now, not now, not now.
He was going to ruin everything.
I followed Holly down the hallway with the ghost trailing behind, trying to get my attention, but I couldn’t let on that I could see him or hear him. Everything depended on the next few minutes.
I tried to calm my nerves. Took a deep breath. Let it out slowly.
Spirits looked like regular people to me, but they gave off a different energy than the living. This guy’s energy was completely different to anything I’d ever felt before. I couldn’t explain it.
I tried to act normal, like my emotions weren’t trying to swallow me whole. Like he wasn’t about to ruin everything I’d spent so long cultivating.
Holly’s smile faded a little. “Don’t look so worried. You got this.” The smile went back up to full brightness.
I gave a half-smile back. “Thanks.”
As I entered Dr Calthorpe’s office, Mr Newbie followed me. He would’ve been able to just walk through the closed door anyway, but he wouldn’t know that if he didn’t know he was dead.
Dr Calthorpe smiled. “Hello, Maddelyn. How are you today?”
He gestured for me to sit down in one of the comfy chairs in front of his desk.
I lowered my butt into the seat. “Hi, Doc. I’m good. How are you?”
“Well, thank you.” His response sounded automatic, like he was bored already.
Mr Newbie stood with his back to the desk and his body was blocking half of my view of the doctor. “Stop pretending you can’t see me!”
My eyes stayed glued to the doctor’s face.
“I wanted to speak to you about your progress,” Dr Calthorpe said. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “We’ve seen good results from you, especially in recent weeks,” he continued. “I’ve been pleased with what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard from the staff.”
Mr Newbie inched closer to my leg. “What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you look at me? What’s going on? Why won’t someone tell me what’s happening?”
I tried not to react.
Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him.
Those tears threatened again. It was sad that someone so young was dead. I was reminded of how fragile life was. How easily it could be snuffed out.
I tried to concentrate on what the doc was saying, but it was almost impossible.
Mr Newbie moved toward the far wall of the office and ran a hand through his hair, then turned to look at me. “I don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know how I ended up like this. I can’t remember anything. I can’t even remember my own name. I don’t know if it’s just some weird spell. I don’t know of any cloaking spell that mutes sound as well…”
Weird spell? Cloaking spell? What?
Dr Calthorpe frowned. “You’re very quiet. That’s not like you.”
Yeah. He had a point. I usually talked about anything and everything when I was in here. Maybe because I always felt like I was under a microscope.
I tried to keep focused on the desk in front of me. “I… I’m just nervous.”
The doctor rubbed his chin. “Yes. You said that, but there’s no need to be nervous. It’s all just standard procedure.”
I tried to remember what I’d planned to say. “I’ve been feeling a lot better these last few weeks and Nurse Holly has been very understanding and has helped me with my anxiety over my scars. The staff here are amazing and I’ll miss them and the patients when I go home.” I paused to gauge his reaction, but got nothing. “I feel I’m ready to go home now. I want to work on my relationship with Mum and look for a new job.”
All of it was true, except that there was one staff member that was so far from amazing that I cringed just thinking about her. I would not miss her.
Mr Newbie stepped forward. “Talk to me!”
Your eyes are naturally drawn to movement, especially in your peripheral vision. It’s a self-preservation thing. So I nearly blew it.
I was proud of my self-control.
He lunged forward and waved a hand in front of my face and I flinched. “Look at me!”
No. Don’t do it. Just concentrate. You got this.
If I did look, I knew the anguish in his eyes would be too much. I felt the sting of tears again and looked toward the wall of certificates next to me. It was safer to not look at either of them.
“Please. You gotta help me. If you know what’s going on, just tell me. If you can see through the cloak, do you know how to remove it?”
What is he talking about?
Dr Calthorpe leaned forward. “How are you feeling right now, Maddelyn?”
How am I feeling? Like my head’s going to explode. “Ah, good, thanks.”
“You don’t sound very sure.”
That’s because I’m not. “I’m good. Really. It’s cool.”
I tried to keep my breathing even, but I was failing.
Just a little longer. I just need to concentrate on the doctor. On what he’s saying.
Dr Calthorpe asked me a few more questions and I was able to answer them in between Mr Newbie’s outbursts, but it was getting more difficult by the second.
Mr Newbie finally sat on the seat next to me. I could see him put his head in his hands in my peripheral vision.
I wanted to help him — it was almost like a compulsion — but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t help him right now. Not without messing everything up for me. Why did he have to show up right now?
“Maddelyn?”
“Hmm? I mean, pardon?” Dr Calthorpe must have said something and I didn’t hear it. Damn.
“You seem distracted.”
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if you’d spoken to your mother recently.”
There was a pang in my chest. “Oh, yeah. I spoke to her yesterday. She’s doing well, I suppose. It’s been hard for her without me. It’s always been just the two of us and we’ve never been apart.”
“Yes. She’s had a tough time of it, especially right after the accident. She’s handling things a lot better now.”
That was true, but she also seemed more distant than ever. I wasn’t sure what I could do to get our relationship back to where it used to be. I knew I would forgive her for letting them put me in here. It would be good again. I just had to get home.
Mr Newbie walked over to the corner of the room near the window, his back to me, his broad shoulders hunched forward.
“Yeah.”
“And you seem to be handling things better now, too.”
Mr Newbie hadn’t moved.
From the corner of my eye I saw Dr Calthorpe lean back in his chair. “Do you think I should buy a cowboy hat?”
Mr Newbie really looked defeated. The guilt was eating at me. A little voice in my head was telling me to help him.
“Yeah.”
My heart was like a heavy stone in my chest as I imagined how bad he must be feeling. And I was a bitch for pretending I couldn’t see him.
“Are you listening to me?”
“Yeah. Sure, Doc.”
“I suspect that you’re telling us what you think we want to hear so we will release you.”
Oh, crap.
That got my attention.
It dawned on me that I’d been sitting there openly staring at Mr Newbie and I dragged my eyes away from him. “Oh, I would never do that.”
“What were you looking at?”
My eyes were drawn back to the heart-wrenching sight. Mr Newbie’s last hope draining out onto the floor. “Your terrible decor. When did you last update? Nineteen-seventy?”
Mr Newbie suddenly turned around as if he’d felt me looking at him. “You can see me! I knew you could. Please help me! I don’t know what’s going on.”
The anguish on his face nearly did me in and my eyes darted back to Dr Calthorpe. Mr Newbie was going to get me in trouble, but he looked so lost and broken.
He stepped forward. “Why won’t you help me? You’re the only person who has acknowledged my existence since I woke up and found myself in this nightmare and you’re just gonna sit there?”
Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t answer.
I bit my lip so I wouldn’t speak and stared at the desk.
“Maddelyn? Are you feeling okay?”
My eyes snapped to the doctor’s face. How was I going to get through this? “Um, yeah. I’m fine.”
Mr Newbie suddenly strode over and leaned down in my face again. “Talk to me, dammit!”
I instinctively shrank back away from him. My mouth opened, but no words came out.
“I need your help,” he said. “I can’t work out if this is a cloaking spell or something else. I’ve lost my memory. I don’t even know who I am.” He ran a hand through his hair. “What’s your ability? Can you see through cloaks and glamours? Do you know how to reverse this spell so I can at least be seen and heard?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Maybe he’d been a patient here because he wasn’t making an ounce of sense. He had to be delusional if he thought magic was real.
“I—” He frowned. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what you are.” He ran a hand down his face and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “This can’t be happening.”
I saw movement in my peripheral vision.
Uh, oh. My eyes flicked to Dr Calthorpe and my heart thudded in my chest. I’d blown it. There was no way of explaining this that made sense.
I could see it in the doctor’s eyes. That look of pity that says I’m broken and he can help me.
“Will you help me? You’re the only person who can see me.” Mr Newbie’s eyes were pleading. His lip trembled.
“I can’t…” I whispered. Help you.
The doctor was saying something to me. I couldn’t make out the words, but the look on his face said it all. I’d seen that look before. And I knew what it meant. I wasn’t going home.
I glanced from one man to the other and stood. “I…”
I rushed to the door and flung it open.
Dr Calthorpe got to his feet. “Maddelyn! Come back. Let’s discuss this.”
Too late.
I ran down the hall and through the rec room and out into the garden with tears blurring my vision, cursing myself for messing up and cursing the ghost for pushing me to it.
I didn’t stop until I’d reached my usual spot, nestled in amongst some small bushes that hid me from the view of anyone inside or out on the verandah. It was where I usually sat when I talked to Mr J and Mrs C.
That’s when the tears really started and I sat on the grass with my knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs.
I was never getting out of here.
“What’s wrong?” Mr Newbie had followed me, because of course he had.
I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t.
All my plans had slipped away into the ether.
All this time I was so careful not to be seen talking to people who were supposedly figments of my imagination. And it was all for nothing. I’d blown it in less than ten minutes.
How was I ever going to get out of here? They would never believe me now, even if I spent the next six months pretending that I couldn’t see the spirits of the dead. This had made going home impossible. He had just sentenced me to a life of a quiet, controlled existence in a mental institution when I wasn’t even crazy.
I could really see spirits. I knew I could. I wasn’t delusional like they believed. Right?
The thought of spending another six months in here made me cry harder. I couldn’t stand it for one more day. I had to get out of here now.
Mr Newbie was still talking, but I wasn’t listening.
How could I fix this?
There was no way to fix this. I had to give up on my dream of freedom. Of a normal life.
Heat rose in my chest and I narrowed my eyes at him. “This is all your fault.”
“What? What did I do?”
“You’ve just damned me to a lifetime of being stuck in a mental institution when I’m not crazy!”
“What? How did I do that?”
“You talked to me. You made me talk back. I was trying to prove I wasn’t crazy and you had to come running in and ruin it. Now they think I’m being delusional again and they’ll never let me out!”
“Delusional? What are you talking about? Why does seeing me make you delusional?”
“Because you’re dead!”
Chapter 3: I'll Never Go Home
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him and my chest tightened. I didn’t mean to be so harsh, but it was too late. I couldn’t take the words back.
It was a horrible way to find out that you’re no longer alive.
I felt bad, but instead of saying sorry, I buried my head in my arms again and let the tears fall.
He’d just ruined everything.
Mrs Carpenter’s gentle voice cut through the silence. “Maddie dear, what’s happened?”
I couldn’t answer.
There was a sharp intake of breath, then Mr Newbie’s voice. “You can see me? I… I don’t understand.”
“You must be new, dear,” Mrs C said.
“She… told me I’m dead, but you can see me.”
“Yes. Spirits can see each other. Normal humans can’t see us, but very young children and those with the gift of Sight can.”
I kept my head down and spoke quietly. “Gift? It’s a curse. It has completely ruined my life.”
I felt Mrs C’s cool hand on my back. “It is a gift, you mark my words. It may not feel like it now, but you’ll see soon enough.”
There was more silence as all the arguments against that flashed through my brain. I needed to tell her how wrong she was.
Mr Jones’s voice startled me. “Tell us what happened, dear.”
Mrs C’s hand rubbed small circles on my back, but I didn’t answer. “It couldn’t have gone well, Fred — she’s crying.”
“I can see that, woman.”
“Tell us what’s wrong, Maddie.”
I still couldn’t talk.
“I’m sorry,” Mr Newbie said quietly. “It’s my fault. I didn’t know.”
“What did you do, son?” Mr J asked.
“I was scared because no one could see or hear me, and when I realized that she was the only one who could, I tried everything to get her to acknowledge me. I didn’t know what was happening and when she finally did talk to me…”
“The doctor now thinks she’s seeing things again,” Mrs C finished for him.
I looked up. “I will never get out of here now.”
Mr J leaned down toward me. “Don’t give up. We’ll work something out.”
“But they’ll never believe anything I tell them now. Janice already said she thought I was just telling them what they wanted to hear, even before I proved to them that she’s right and I’m delusional. I’m stuck here. I think I might really go crazy if I have to stay here any longer.”
Not because of the people in here — although Nurse Sourpuss Janice was hard to deal with — it was just that I didn’t belong and I’d tried so hard for so long to convince them that I was a normal eighteen-year-old and that I didn’t have this curse of being able to see every spirit that walked my way. I just wanted my life back.
I stood. I needed some space and I didn’t want the new guy to be looking down at me. I walked away from my hiding spot, but he followed me. Of course.
My life had been fine until the accident. Everything was normal. Then after I’d come out of an induced coma, I could see people all over the hospital that no one else could see.
Mr Newbie ran a hand through his hair and I couldn’t help thinking he looked like Johnny Depp’s doppelgänger. “I want to help you.”
I started to tell him to go away and realized that Nurse Holly was out on the back verandah talking to Jim. I walked casually back behind the bushes and the new guy followed close behind.
I looked up into those deep brown eyes with the thick, dark lashes that most women would kill for and scowled. “You’ve done enough. There’s nothing you could possibly do to help me now.”
His eyebrows shot up. “But I didn’t know what my actions would cause. I want to make things right. We can fix this.”
“Weren’t you listening?” I whisper-yelled. “This can’t be fixed. Everyone thinks I’m crazy and that I’m in the right place where I can get some help — even my own mother!” I clenched my fists. “I have to pretend to take the pills they give me so I won’t be walking around in a daze twenty-four seven. I have to talk about my feelings with the doctor and pretend I’m fine. I was supposed to be going home to my mother. You destroyed my chances and there’s nothing anyone can do to fix it. Just go away and leave me alone. You’ve completely ruined the rest of my life.”
Several leaves were blown around the small clearing by a sudden gust of wind as I said those last words and I tensed.
He opened his mouth, closed it, then turned on his heel and stalked off.
Mrs C shook her head. “That wasn’t nice, Maddelyn.”
“I don’t care. He just ensured that I’ll never go home.”
She tried to explain how desperate he must have felt when no one could see him and every word had the guilt eating at my insides, but it was drowned out by the heat surging through my veins.
The wind picked up again and panic shot through me. I clamped down on my temper. I had to get this under control. Sometimes when I was angry, strange things happened around me. Things that were hard to explain. Sudden gusts of wind. Things falling to the floor. Once, I’d even popped a light globe.
I hadn’t told anyone about this. Not even Mum.
I took some deep breaths and tried to listen to Mrs C’s calming voice. The wind died down and I relaxed a bit.
I peeked through the bushes and watched Nurse Holly and Jim. “I shouldn’t even bother hiding to talk to you guys anymore.”
Mr J stepped forward. “That’s not a good idea, Lass.”
I turned to him. “There’s no point pretending anymore. They know. I might as well enjoy your company wherever I am.”
“No,” they both said at once.
Mrs C put a hand on my arm. “Maddelyn, we’ll figure out a way for you to get out of here. There’ll be a way to fix it. But don’t you go making it impossible. You keep pretending you can’t see us, you hear me?”
I sighed. “Yes, okay.”
We were quiet for a long time and I laid back in the grass, closed my eyes and soaked up the sun while a magpie sang a happy song nearby.
A shadow fell against my eyelids and my eyes sprang open. I jerked away from Nurse Janice’s smirking face, which morphed into a condescending smile.
“What do you do all day out here in the garden?”
I sat up. “Enjoy the peace and quiet and the song of the birds.” And get away from you.
“Yeah, right. Who were you talking to?”
“No one. I wasn’t talking just now.” I narrowed my eyes. “You know I wasn’t.”
Her smile faltered a little. “I don’t believe what the doctor says. I know that you belong in here.”
Here we go again. I’d had enough of her attitude.
I got to my feet so she wouldn’t be towering over me and bit back all the things I wanted to say to her. I didn’t need more trouble right now. Then one of them slipped out. “Why do you hate me?”
Her eyes narrowed, and she didn’t deny it. Of course. “You think you’re better than me. You think you’re better than all of us. Well, you’re not. None of you are.”
None of you?
The heat returned to my veins. I had no idea what she was talking about, but her behaviour had to stop. “No. I don’t think I’m better than you, but if you don’t back off, I’m going to report you to Doctor Calthorpe. I’ve seen how you treat the other patients and it’s not right.”
That smile was back and I so wanted to smack it off her face. “I can do what I want.” She stepped into my personal space, her grey eyes boring into mine. “You’re just another loony. No one will believe you.” She grabbed my upper arms and my chest clenched. “I have all the power here. No one will take your word over mine. Do you understand?”
Leaves blew around our feet as I fought for control. “I understand perfectly. You don’t like this job and you want me to tell Doctor Calthorpe so he’ll sack you.”
My hair flew around my face as the wind picked up.
Her fingers dug into my flesh, but I didn’t back down.
“Shut up! You will not tell him anything. I can make your life hell in here, so you will listen to me and do as you’re told. Do you understand?”
Chapter 4: Who Are You Speaking To?
Her eyes were wild and her breathing ragged. She seemed to become unhinged before my eyes. Maybe she was on the wrong side of the equation here. Maybe she should have been one of the patients.
That realization hit me in the gut and I forced myself to back down. She held all the power — like she said — and if she was as unstable as she seemed, she really could make my life hell. I had no idea what she was capable of.
And there was the fact that I was afraid of what I might accidentally do to her if I didn’t calm the storm inside me.
I took a few deep breaths and the wind died down.
It took a lot for me to nod my head and pretend she’d won.
She let go of my arms and I resisted the urge to rub them. There would probably be bruises there later.
While I waited and hoped she’d calm down, Mrs C came over and put a soothing arm around my shoulders. “You did good.”
I ignored her and she smiled.
Mr J put a calming hand on the middle of my back. “It’s okay, darlin’. You got this.”
I appreciated their support more than they could ever know.
Janice watched me for a long while and when it looked like she’d gotten herself under control, she scowled. “Now we understand each other. You will tell no one and I won’t taze your ass.”
I glanced at the pocket she kept her taser in. I wasn’t too sure about that. A mental picture of me writhing on the ground and her laughing hysterically flashed through my mind. She wouldn’t hesitate to taze my ass.
She must have seen the fear in my eyes; she laughed loudly and put her hands on her hips.
I clenched my teeth. Just go before I do something I’ll regret.
I put my palms against my legs so I wouldn’t clench my fists. Seeing me do that might have set her off again.
She looked me up and down and opened her mouth, closed it again, then turned on her heel and walked back toward the door to the rec room.
“I’m watching you, freak,” she called over her shoulder as she swung her hips all the way to the door. Who was she hoping to impress? Jim? The trees?
Mr Newbie threw his arms in the air. “Oh, my God! What is her problem?” He started pacing around in a circle. “She shouldn’t be working in a place like this. Maybe she should be a patient instead.”
I tore my eyes away from the door and sat back down in the grass. “She’s getting worse,” I whispered.
Mr J joined Mr Newbie with his pacing, but he walked back and forth near the bushes I was hiding behind. “Something has set her off lately.”
Mrs C lowered herself gracefully on one of the park benches. “Maybe she has problems in her life outside of work. She is so quick to anger these last few months, but especially the last few days.” She tucked a stray lock of curly blonde hair behind her ear. “You’re going to have to be extra-careful around her. She would just love to catch you talking to us for real.”
I sighed. “Yeah.”
What I really needed to do was get out of here, but that was just a pipe dream now.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Dr Calthorpe will see you now,” Nurse Holly said with a cheery smile. A genuine smile.
Those were the words I’d been dreading. I didn’t know what he was going to say to me after yesterday’s total stuff-up.
But I’d decided that no matter what, I was going to report Janice.
Mrs C slid her arm from my shoulders. “You’ll be okay, dear.”
I was so grateful for her support and wished I could look at her to let her know how much it meant to me. I took a deep breath and followed Holly.
I had no real plan for what I was going to tell him when he asked me who I was talking to. What could I possibly say that wouldn’t sound like I’d lost it?
Dr Calthorpe smiled as I entered and gestured for me to have a seat. “How are you today, Maddelyn?”
“Much better, Doc. How are you?”
His smile stayed in place. “Very well, thank you.”
I braced myself for the barrage of questions, but they didn’t come. He waited till we were both seated and smiled again.
Oh, great. He was waiting for me to talk.
Okay. If that’s what he wanted. “Before you say anything, I want to know what the procedures are for reporting a member of your staff.”
The smile dropped as his bushy eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?”
“How do I report someone for mistreating patients?”
Those brows rose higher. “May I ask who you are referring to?”
There was no backing down now. “Nurse Janice.”
His expression was unreadable as the silence stretched.
“She is mean to the patients and she threatened me yesterday. Then she told me not to report it to you because you wouldn’t believe me because I’m a loony.”
His face was turning red. “These are very serious allegations, Maddelyn. Are you sure there isn’t just some misunderstanding?”
Great. He wasn’t going to believe me. Maybe because he witnessed me talking to an imaginary person in here yesterday.
“No. There’s no misunderstanding.” I wished the bruises had stuck around so I could show him, but I was a fast healer. “She grabbed me by the arms yesterday and basically said she could do whatever she wanted and I couldn’t do anything about it. She said I was a loony. She calls us all loonies. She is rough with poor Mrs Dawson and is abusive to all of us when no one’s looking.”
The expressions playing out across his face would have been amusing if it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation.
He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Why haven’t you or anyone else said anything before now?”
“She has all the power. She told me if I told you, she would make my life hell in here.”
It was already hell, so bring it on.
It looked like he was trying to pull himself together. I could feel the anger rolling off him. Maybe he did believe me. “I see.”
“So, how do I officially report her?”
“We’ll sort this out. You’ve told me, and that’s the first step in the process.”
He went on about the forms he would get me to fill out, but then swung the conversation back to my big blunder.
I opened my mouth to answer, but I still hadn’t thought of anything that would get me out of trouble, then jumped when an elderly woman appeared beside him. I forced myself to look at him, but his wide eyes told me he’d noticed.
No… Not again.
This could not be happening again. I felt like screaming. I couldn’t talk to her. I had to ignore her. Otherwise, my case against the nurse from Hell will go down the toilet too.
The doctor cleared his throat. “So, can you tell me about yesterday?”
“Umm…” What could I do? “It was all a joke. I didn’t see anyone. I just didn’t want to talk to you.” Which didn’t make an ounce of sense. He knew how badly I wanted to go home.
He frowned. “Miss Johnson, this is no laughing matter.”
“I think maybe they messed up my medication. I couldn’t help it.”
“I assure you that you are on the correct dosage of meds, Maddelyn.”
“I’m not so sure, Doc. I felt kind of out of it.”
The woman reached out a hand toward his face. She looked anxious. Did she know she was dead? Was she going to cause a scene like Mr Newbie?
I quickly diverted my eyes in case she saw me looking. I did not want a repeat of yesterday.
Maybe she was his grandma.
I looked him in the eye. “I was kinda dizzy before I came in here.”
His eyebrows crept down lower. He was getting annoyed with me. Good. Maybe he’d send me out of his office and I wouldn’t have to deal with this. Or the old lady. Maybe he’d give up on me.
Not likely. He actually cared about his patients and tried his best to help them. Unlike a certain person.
His eyes were almost pleading. “Why won’t you give me a straight answer?”
I sighed. “You’re never gonna let me out of here, so why should I come to these sessions anymore? Why should I bother with any of it?”
I got up out of my chair, tempted to just run out again, but opted for pacing the room instead.
“Sit down and let’s talk about this. Why do you think you’ll never leave here?”
I kept pacing. “I’ll be here for the rest of my life, and by then I probably will be crazy for real.”
My face heated and my eyes stung with unshed tears. A pen on the desk rolled onto the floor and I stopped and stared at it. I had to get a grip on my emotions, or I could put myself in a lot more trouble. Trouble I couldn’t even hope to talk my way out of.
Dr Calthorpe picked up the pen and placed it neatly on his desk and seemed to think nothing of it falling randomly to the floor and I let out a breath.
The woman turned her attention from Dr Calthorpe and I could see the moment she realized I was looking directly at her. “You can see me?” She smiled widely. “That’s great! I need your help. This here is my grandson, Ivan.”
I snorted a laugh. “Ivan?”
“Yes. And I need your help because I died this morning and no one knows where I’ve hidden my treasures. It was my heart, I think. I woke up, but my body didn’t.”
My smile faded. His name being Ivan was funny; her being dead wasn’t funny in the least.
I opened my mouth to respond to her, but clamped it shut. Dr Calthorpe — Ivan — was looking at me expectantly, eyebrow raised.
Crap.
“Who are you speaking to, Maddelyn?”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Enjoyed this peek at Book1 of the Jadori Series?
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This is a work in progress, so…